My Husband is Not My Ticket to Heaven

Originally Published 12/7/2010

So, your husband is sold out to Christ, but where do you stand? Do you stand behind him, or beside him? It is disturbing, but I have seen that many wives of true men of God, including pastors, ministers, evangelists, etc.  have not themselves worthy of God’s love, truly repented of their sins, inwardly given their lives to Christ and turned away from the ways of this world. Therefore,  a personal relationship with the Father in their lives is nonexistent. They have somehow lost themselves in their husband’s shadow, assuming the role of the Christian wife, but never actually living the Christian life.
As our husbands have become engulfed in the Father and penetrated by His consuming Fire, many of them have chosen to accept their God given call into ministry. Most of them expecting and desiring for their wives to be right their beside them as they pursue the call of the Lord. And while we may be quick to fall in line, we do not possess that same devotion. We have instead learned exactly what it is we should say, deemed what is appropriate for us to wear, and memorized just enough scripture to get us through most Christian conversation. We have joined the choir, taught the Sunday school class, served in various ministries, sat on the front pew, clapped, nodded and bowed our heads during prayer, even praying for others, all the while, knowing that our hearts do not belong to Christ. Most often are hearts belong solely to our husbands and/or children or careers. We have been deceived into believing that this is acceptable and that God is pleased with us! But the Bible says otherwise.
Matthew 7: 21 “Not everyone who says to me, “Lord, Lord”, will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name? And then will I declare to them, ‘ I never knew you, depart from me, you workers of lawlessness."
My belief is that we as women have come to believe that as long as we follow a husband that believes in and follows Christ we don't have to take responsibility and deal with ourselves because we are doing everything that Christians do. The problem here is that our husband’s salvation can not get us into Heaven and he won’t be able sneak us through the gates before they close!
You may be asking, “But the two have become one, right? Aren’t we one in the same?”
The Bible states that, ‘they shall become one flesh ‘ (Gen. 2:24). But we are spirits, therefore we must also maintain an individual walk with Christ.

There is no VIP treatment in Heaven. If it were, there would be no Hell. Sure, on earth, you may be able get by because of who you know. But God doesn’t care about your earthly associations.  You are not made righteous by earthly associations. No matter how intimate they may be. Even Judas had an intimate relationship with Jesus, but in the end, he chose not to follow Him.  Scripture also tells us, ‘because, if you confess with your mouth  that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved’ (Romans 1o:9). This is the only avenue to salvation. And it is important to understand that Paul is not simply talking about head knowledge of Christ here. Unfortunately, many women who profess to be Christians only have head knowledge of Christ, i.e. Religion.  They know of Christ and they believe the story, but they do not actually know Him. We have been hanging on to our husbands coat tails, but it is time to grab a hold of Christ’s  garment and truly follow Him!
Now, please don’t misunderstand me here. I am not advising that we go against our husbands as the head of our households when we may not agree with his choices. As this would not be of God. The Bible clearly states in 1 Peter 3: 1-2, ‘Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.’  But if we do not have our own relationship with Christ, how are we to have discernment and wisdom in these situations?

My plea is simply that we truly examine our hearts. Is there peace there? Do you know that if you were to die right now that you would go to Heaven? If you are unsure, pray to the Father, ask him to reveal your heart to you.  Do you say or do things because you think that’s what you are supposed to do, or do your actions bring life to what you already believe in your heart and flow out of a longing desire to please the Father?


To those of us that have surely entered into salvation through His grace, I petition you to stay on fire! Do not allow the demands of life, wifely or motherly duties, to separate you from the Father!  Sometimes we would like to give our all to Christ, but have somehow become stuck and content, never pushing past desire into action.  There have been times that I have found myself living under my husbands fire. But if things get hectic for a moment and he stops praying, spending time with God, going to church, etc., I find myself not doing those things. I look up, only to realize that my own fire has been quenched. I do believe that this has something to do with how we are wired as wives to follow as our husbands lead, but we must not use this as an excuse! We must make a decision not neglect personal prayer time, alone time with God, worship, meditation of the scriptures, etc. These are necessities to uphold our own Christian walk.
It is also important to understand that we are meant to be our husbands help. So it is imperative that we be on one accord in Christ! We are able to make a greater impact together than apart!
Lastly, we can’t be afraid to open up to our husbands about how we may be feeling. We can not allow him to assume that we are “there” when we truly are not. Wives have to give their husbands the opportunity to begin praying for them and their salvation.
I pray that my words were able to reach a wife that may have gotten caught up in the day to day actions of being a “ministers wife” or who may have simply been caught up in religion. I pray that she begins to desire a true relationship with the living Father through His Son, Jesus Christ. Amen.